My name is Evangeline Eames. I’ve been in SL since 2007, run The Dominion Femdom since 2008 (with a lot of help), and published FEMDOM Magazine since 2009 (also with a lot of help). I also produce a line of mesh clothing and have a little SL cafe that I run with a squirrel. In my ‘first life’ I am a self employed designer living in western Canada. I spend my offline free time being dommed by my one and a half year old dog Katie as we walk the wilds of the Alberta countryside.
1. So this is FEMDOM Magazine’s last regular issue. What does that mean and why is it happening now?
The “last regular issue” means that we aren’t quite ready to halt production altogether. However we are going to alleviate the pressure to put out issues on a regular basis. We’ll maybe do one or two a year as long as the interest is there from our team and from our readership. We may also publish articles and pictorials from time to time on the website, but only when we feel inspired, not to meet a particular deadline. The website will remain live indefinitely. A lot of the info is not time sensitive, and will be there as a resource for those who are interested. We’ve put out some pretty outstanding stuff over the years and it would be a shame to not have it accessible.
The main reason we are stopping now is really lack of enthusiasm from our team. We’ve been there; we’ve talked to everyone and their sister. We’ve seen that and done it and done it again. Femdom in Second Life is relatively small, and although it has changed and evolved over time to a certain degree, it still has become increasingly difficult to find fresh angles or even new people of interest to interview. We’ve tried to expand our sphere by venturing out of Second Life more, but that brings its own challenges that have been difficult to manage. It’s hard to find people to do real time interviews and footwork and of course there are also privacy and legal issues. But primarily, everyone is ready to focus on new challenges. We’ve had a great run, and it just feels like the time is right.
2. You’re the owner of one of SL’s largest Femdom communities. When so many fail, what keeps The Dominion thriving?
The Dominion has an outstanding core of people, on staff and off, who are dedicated to supporting our community. We’ve also worked hard to be consistent and professional. Our staff makes sure the “show does go on” and “real life” doesn’t trump our committments here. That attitude, that what we do here is as important as anything else, really has made Dominion stand out over the years. I am also very proud of the innovative programs and events we have put together, including our Mistress Mentoring program, our Confessions writing event, and countless fantastic discussions and special productions. Our team was the first to do so many things here in SL and I have been flattered to see others follow suit.
3. The Dominion has been called everything from “high protocol” to “abusive” because of its rules concerning submissives’ conduct. Should subs be worried about showing up alone?
LIke any place that’s been around for more than a hot minute, we have had incidents of abuse, personal disputes, and all sorts of other problems over the years. We work hard to deal with every incident in a fair manner. Every complaint notecarded to me is dealt with, although maybe not in a way that makes everyone happy. Do we have a higher number of ejects and bans? Sure we do. But that is simply because we actually enforce our few simple rules and expect a certain level of polite and attentive conduct.. Dominion is the big league of SL Femdom and if you can’t bring your A game, then yes, you probably should be worried about coming here. But if you read the rules, pay attention, and are respectful, you’ll do fine. We’re worth you being at your best. Really.
4. What have you found most surprising about online BDSM communities after three and a half years at The Dominion and more than 3600 group members?
Passivity. So many people view Second Life as a passive experience, like watching television. They simply flip the channel when they are bored. Of course, this extends outside of the BDSM communities. A number of years ago I read a Vanity Fair interview with the late Brooke Astor, a New York socialite. Astor gave etiquette advice for dinner parties. One of the things that stuck in my head was her belief that every guest at the dinner table was obliged to sing for his or her supper and contribute to the evening. That has been something I’ve always remembered, and that I wish more people would practice, particularly in SL. If you come to the party and want to partake, you have an obligation to bring something to the table. Unfortunately in SL, there are nowhere near enough people contributing to the conversation. Too many are just here for the free lunch.
5. You’ve been an SL entrepreneur, working not only in the BDSM community, but also on your fashion enterprise, Valentina E. Are we using SL to its full potential?
No. We are at the very beginning stages of 3D online social networking. I really do believe we are pioneers. SL is just the first primitive taste of what is to come. Still, I think we could be doing more using what we have at present. I’d like to see more big events, more people getting involved, more real time/Second Life crossover. We are limited by lag and sim limits, but the biggest problem to overcome is passivity (see above). Maybe if the economy bounces back people will have more resources, time and energy to help realize SL’s potential. Or perhaps something else will come along that will inspire people more than this particular platform.
6. On a personal level, when and under what circumstances did you realize you were a dominant woman?
Well, if you mean dominant in a general way, I’ve known that as long as I can recall, although it hasn’t always been referred to as politely as “being dominant.” Maybe that’s because I didn’t used to be as subtle as I am now. *coughs* I’ve always enjoyed planning, creating, organizing, and calling the shots, personally and professionally. Having to sit back and let others lead generally gives me a rash, but only when I think I can do better than you can. With people whose talent I admire and respect, I am usually (hopefully) smart enough to shut up and sit in the back seat. I still might want to tell you how to drive from time to time, but feel free to turn around and throw something at me.
In a D/s sense, I have had kinky fantasies since puberty. I don’t know why. I had a happy, well-adjusted childhood with no mean neighbour kids tying me up. I never came across any kinky porn in my parent’s nightstand. I can only speculate that it is the way I am wired. For a long time, I actually thought there was something wrong with me and tried to ignore and suppress my desires. Boyfriends who slapped away my hands when I tried to play with their asses or tie them up didn’t help. I have two things to thank for my self discovery: my local gay community, which exposed me to my first kink experiences, and the Internet, which gave me my first images of female domination, even if they were unrealistic stereotypes. There were others like me out there and now I had a name for it all!
It’s funny how things sort of go full circle. Part of my self discovery was online and now I am online in SL exploring kink with others and in some instances, helping people discover it. Cool, huh? Awhile ago we had the author, sex educator, and shibari artist Midori in to Second Life for an interview. One of the things she said that struck home was that she was dedicated to kink “shame reduction.” SL is a powerful tool in helping people discover kink and to hopefully combat any shame and embrace who they are. It’s amazing to be a part of it.
7. What is the biggest misconception about you and why do you think it’s out there?
I have no idea! I never get out! Everyone loves me and thinks I’m wonderful, right? That’s right.
8. What makes you the most proud?
The people who call Dominion home. We have some smart, talented, amazing people here and the fact that they choose to invest their time here, to wear the Dominion tag, really does make me very proud. I’m also immensely proud and grateful for the love and friendship I’ve found here. It’s been dazzling and life changing.
9. What is your biggest unfulfilled desire?
There are people I’ve met in SL I want to meet, to hug, whose eyes I want to look in to while I say “I love you.” In some cases, that may happen. In others it’s not likely, which is heartbreaking. But then, we don’t always get our heart’s desires, do we?
10. Ok…seriously now…what’s with the squirrel-partner named “Maztor”?
Hahaha. . . well Maz followed friends to SL from some Star Wars game in 2005. Everyone in that group was into SL Gor roleplay and had titles so he picked the name “Maztor.” He’s not even in to BDSM! We had a lovely vanilla romantic relationship when I first came to SL that has morphed in to something akin to family over the years. He is one of the most important people in my life. As for his squirrel avatar, let’s just say that’s his statement on some of the stuff he sees in SL. Plus of course, he’s adorable and gets away with murder. He might think SL is a teensy bit ridiculous at times. But what does he know. He’s just a squirrel.